Came a couple of interests that lasted a few weeks/months.
Going from a dental dodger to a man that took immense pride in his teeth. Mr Turkey Teeth, as he has become known, appeared on my Elite Dating profile. (I’d decided a while before that maybe I needed to go for a fellow widower who understood the situation from that category of loss.) He was a year older than me and had been widowed for 7 years, with one relationship in between that hadn’t worked out.
He was full of personality and fun to communicate with. Very sexually charged discussions which having been so long without a physical part to my life, was exciting. He was also two counties away from where I lived but we had agreed to meet up for lunch. He insisted on coming to my home town, we were talking on the phone the night before and I loved his sense of spontaneity. He got in his car and drove the 80 off miles to me. His pictures on the dating app where chosen ‘with care’. He wasn’t unattractive and looked after himself but I let him in and as I followed him, he was knock kneed, with a female shapely bum and better legs than me 🙂 He also wasn’t 5’11 but I’ve found that men do have a tendency to exaggerate that amongst other things…..
However, he brought champagne with him, we had a fun filled introduction. I was sitting next to him and I asked him why he was sitting so uncomfortably…. his response? Why do you think? We hardly slept and he was as good as his word on his physical qualities and application. Even in his 60’s, he was like a teenage boy. Very sexually confident. Thoroughly enjoyable but I was holding back as my libido isn’t what it was after such a drought and the effects of the menopause on these things just mean I’m not as responsive as I was. This started 3 months of getting to know each other peppered with his holiday away and my continued work trips and two holidays in quick succession planned for the last year.
The only fly in the ointment were his right wing political views and a growing sense that he was combative. He has two children but neither included him in Christmas plans which is completely at odds with my own family. He spent his Christmases alone and miserable from what he told me. He also had a tendency to be argumentative with in-laws and in his recollections of work, he seemed to have argued his way to a senior position but as he was a technical expert, his attitude had been excused. (I’ve dismissed people like him in my career as it’s not acceptable behaviour anywhere!)
We had to agree to not talk about politics and he continued to be fun and very physical for almost 4 months. I was returning from an extended trip where I had stayed in contact with him as he was a bit concerned the trip may signal the end of things but looking back, in my last days there, it was he that started to pull away. I got back and he came to see me, champagne in hand as usual. I got up in the night and his phone was in the kitchen and as I walked by, it flashed, there were a number of messages from ‘Sadie’. He was so keen but not in a lovebombing way, I’d never doubted him. We’d not had an ‘exclusive’ conversation but he had told me he’d come off the site and I was the only person he was interested in. I gave him no reciprocal assurance and said I was a way off of making that commitment. (I had come off the dating app but had communications ongoing with Mr IT Director – Retired.)
The next morning, I asked Mr Turkey Teeth who Sadie was as his phone bleeped while I was in the kitchen. He gave me two explanations, his sister and one of his kid’s mother-in-laws.
During the next two days, by a bit of stalking with the help of a friend, it transpires that he was taking ‘Sadie’ away on holiday. I’ll never know whether she was before me or while we were seeing each other. But there is a twist which I will put at the end of this post.
Mr IT Director had interested me. Intellectually, he challenged me in a way I needed and politically, we were more in tune with each other. Before going away on my last trip, I had agreed to meet up with him and he booked in to a hotel near to my home town and we had a lovely dinner. Again, for an intelligent man, I for the life of me can’t see how you can think that 6’2 is actually 5’8. I’m not heightist but it starts to make you doubt what is fact from fiction. I told one of my female friends that I was going to meet him and knowing me, she said, ‘For God’s sake, don’t sleep with him!’ I disregarded that.
What I wonder about is my double standards. I got upset over Mr Turkey Teeth’s seeing another woman but I had done exactly the same thing but I justify that I hadn’t made any commitment but he had…… go figure as I’m still trying to work myself out.
Over New Year, Mr Turkey Teeth made contact and said that he had been stupid. It turns out that while he was with me the last time, ‘Sadie’ was trying to contact him as she knew about me and he told her he was coming down to finish things with me. Once she got no response, she cancelled plans to holiday with him and blocked him. Oh dear! I blocked him that day also.
Mr IT Director and I did make plans to meet up again but he had been badly hurt through his divorce and the closer we seemed to get, the more he panicked about putting himself in a vulnerable position. He was clumsy and quick to retort in messages rather than seek clarification and the last exchange we had, I said that I can’t handle this volatility; we agreed we both liked each other but timing was off. I will always have fond thoughts of Mr IT Director. He wasn’t a player but a victim of his past. Which brings me to my current situation…..
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